Taking One GIANT Step Back

This whole blogging thing is much more difficult now that Ty is home!

Our first week home was wonderful.  Ty is such a happy, easygoing baby.  He is full of joy and smiles.  He loves riding in the car, loves going for walks, loves daddy's ribs, loves baths, loves his sisters, loves the dog, loves noise, loves the loud music at church, etc.

At least we thought he did.

That is, until we reached out for help when he was having a horrible time sleeping.  Screaming fits in the middle of the night.  Inconsolable.  Heart-wrenching.  Exhausting.

I will be eternally grateful to a fellow adoptive mom who said, "Call me!!"  I've never met her, but she reached across the states and said, "I can help!  Just call me!"

He's completely overwhelmed.  Sure, he seems fine during the day, but he's showing you at night, when he is weak, vulnerable, tired.  It is dark, scary, quiet, and he can't control his emotions.  He is being WAY over-stimulated during the day, but you can't tell because he's so happy, but he can't turn his mind off at night and he's letting it out by crying.

So...apparently...even a woman who has birthed three children doesn't know it all.  I didn't realize that my son was completely overwhelmed.  Poor baby was smiling right through it.  We thought he was doing SO well, so we threw cocooning out the window and worshiped loudly with him at church, took him to a friend's house for a BBQ, went next door for a couple hours to socialize with friends, had the TV on in the house most of the time - even when he was sleeping for "background" noise, and let people hold him more than we should have.

It makes perfect sense.  For his first eight months, he basically laid on his back in a quiet room with a single rattle to play with.  He was fed most of the time by one person.  He stared at the same four walls most of the time.  Go from that to a family of six...holy smokes!!  No wonder he's overwhelmed!!  Who wouldn't be??  The sights are different.  The smells are different.  The tastes are different.  The faces are different.  The climate is different.

The fellow adoptive mom who came to my rescue also likened it to when a newborn suddenly wakes up after the first two days. How they go from sleeping nonstop to wide awake and crying.  Adoptive kids go through a similar adjustment.  They seem fine for a while and then they wake up and all hell breaks loose!  (Not ALL adoptive or bio kids go through this, but a lot of them do.)  Again...it makes perfect sense.

Thankfully, God has allowed us to take one giant step back.  All the way back into the cocoon.  Starting on Tuesday, we scaled WAY back.  No more T.V. in the same room, no more outings, no super stimulating activities, no car rides, no noisy visits, and we established a bedtime routine.  The result, you ask?

TWO NIGHTS OF SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT WITH NO CRYING!!  

Instant results.  I couldn't believe it!!  His naps are even better!  Praise the Lord for second chances.  He is still super happy, joyful, charming, sweet, and SUPER adorable.

Now...if I could just stop staring at him and sleep through the night myself!

We did learn this week that he has mild hearing loss (that was a fun appointment), most likely due to fluid in the middle ear, most likely due to lying on his back for so long.  He is pivoting on his belly in a full circle and slowly starting to put weight on his legs.  These are HUGE steps toward better motor development and we are THRILLED!  We are supposed to go to a physical therapy class, but he's doing so well on his own that I don't know we'll put him through the stress of it right now.

Enjoying daddy's ribs for the first time!