...did we get ourselves into??? Are we nuts? Crazy? Just plain stupid? What makes us think that we can do this? What on earth makes us think that we are qualified to raise someone else's child?? What on earth makes us think that we can convince our friends and family to help us come up with $25,000?? Do you hear me, people?? $25,000!!!
I wrote earlier about all the physical "symptoms" I was having with this whole adoption thing. Well, funny thing is, as soon as D said "yes," they all went away. Every single one of them. No heart clenching, no butterflies, no cold sweats. I was completely at peace and knew that I was exactly, smack-dab in the center of God's will. What a beautiful place to be! I had prayed and prayed that D would say "yes." I had put it completely in God's hands, knowing there wasn't a darn thing I could do about it. I had given up all control. And then He did. I was at the end of my rope...and then God picked it up.
The moment we sent in the application, the physical "symptoms" returned. I have had to remind myself to breath numerous times. I am VERY distracted, a little anxious, and a little "holy shnikeez...what did we do?" Here's the thing - I can't do this...WE can't do this...WE are just normal people. There is nothing special about US. There is an elite group of people that can do this international adopt thing...and WE are certainly not elite.
Here's the good news - THIS ISN'T ABOUT US!! This is about God and doing God's work. This is about being God's hands and feet. This is about being the clay. This is about being the vessel. Praise God! Because WE most certainly cannot do this. All WE had to do was say "yes."
On a lovely side note, 24 hours after creating The Feasters are having another baby! Our international adoption journey. page on Facebook, we have 146 fans! We don't even know who some of these people are! The outpouring of love and support is completely overwhelming. I am moved to tears (go figure) every time we get an encouraging word or another "fan" or another follower on this blog. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You have no idea how much this means to us!
Loads of Love,
Mom In Training
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This is Joy from KT, and I have been reading all your posts here from back in February, praying and crying at the same time. I think what you're doing is really scary, but at the same time, so glorifing to God. I hope that I'll get to meet this little person someday (at Costco, maybe?)
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